An inflatable Jesus in October

At 3:00 a.m. on a Tuesday night I staggered into a Wal-Mart, disheveled and zombie-esque. I had woken up terrified, remembering I had forgotten to buy construction paper for a group presentation.

The rush of wind from the automatic doors forced my eyes shut, and once inside, as I tried to open them, an awesome light that would make even the proudest genuflect, blinded me.

Finally as my eyes adjusted, I focused in on its source – Christmas trees. One hundred fake Christmas trees wrapped in tinsel and magnificent white lights, for the low price of $19.99.

First, my heart skipped a beat- everyone loves the holidays. Then, I became terrified. Had I slept through two months? What was today’s date? There are so many people to buy presents for.

Did Mom say houndstooth or cashmere?

Scrambling, I located the date, Oct. 5. My relief was soon overcome by disgust.
Oh the horror! Have Americans no shame? It seems Halloween and Thanksgiving have been eradicated by the crippling clutch of consumerism.

Winter holidays, especially Christmas, are becoming marketed earlier every year. Last year I cringed when “Deck the Halls’ rang through Sears at 8:00 p.m. the day before Thanksgiving. This year, corporate America lit their Yule log well before Halloween.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy Christmas time; it makes me as warm and fuzzy as the next guy, but incessant flashing Christmas trees in the beginning of October boils my blood pressure more than the Westernized euphemistic portrayal of Thanksgiving. And that’s saying something.

Quite simply, we, as a consumer-driven culture, have allowed ourselves to be controlled by crap, and one of the biggest entities holding the reigns is Christmas.

As trinkets, giant inflatable Santas and fake trees emerge earlier, our understanding of what the holiday is becomes irreversibly tangled with the eight boxes of lights you have stored in the attic.

Americans have socially evolved to understand that if their house isn’t the brightest on the block the earliest, their neighbors will think of them as cantankerous bah-humbuggers. If you have no decorations at all? You can forget about your soulless heart being invited to the neighborhood potluck.

This race insists that companies sell their Christmas products sooner every year. It’s only a matter of time until we see a sign stating, “Buy your bikini, get one for Rudolf half-off!”

While it bothers me that by the time Christmas does roll around, I’m ready for it to be over (due to an overdose of Nat King Cole’s “Oh Come all Ye Faithful”), I am troubled by the willingness that consumers have that allows thousands of companies to guide their intentions.

Consumers have allowed advertisements to distort the holiday’s original meaning – family and goodwill. This can’t be found on a clearance isle among 40 other ravenous mothers and fathers.
I am admittedly not religious, but it is disgusting to see Jesus turned into one of the most successful marketing tools. Has this become completely acceptable for the majority of Americans?

Due to the overwhelming evidence in my neighbor’s front yard, I’d say so. An inflatable Jesus should be a red flag for all.

Snap out of it. You haven’t even bought Halloween candy. Christmas isn’t going anywhere. It will arrive as planned on Dec. 25, but before that, you have an entire month after Thanksgiving to chisel a perfected jolly holiday image with your bonus money.

Give the pumpkins and the pilgrims a chance, and keep Jesus in your hearts and off the shelves.