I obviously delight in learning and being immersed in new cultures. If I had a choice for a career, it would be a travel writer of a sort (call me National Geographic!), but if there is one thing I have learned from living in a foreign country it is this: You can take the girl out of America, but you can't take the America out of the girl.
As an American living abroad (Honduras, in fact, the third poorest country in Latin America), I can finally and guilt-free say that I miss luxury sometimes. I ADMIT IT I HAVE BEEN PAMPERED FOR FAR TOO LONG and now there is no going back. This has been an incredible 7 months in Honduras, but I am American and as such, I can now laugh about this charade that I and millions of other Americans living abroad are participating in. Any American living in an impoverished third world country that says they much prefer that lifestyle and would live there forever is lying or has the last name Kaczynski and in that case is probably crouching in a hut writing a manifesto and planning the sending of inconspicuous bombs to various unsuspecting recipients.
To sum it up, if I lived in Honduras for the rest of my life I would not stand for having my toilet be but a hole in the ground. In fact, I would probably have a bidet installed along with my porcelain toilet. In my front yard. So all my neighbors could see.
Thus begins my new blog segment: Americans being Non-Americans.
First, defining the American.
If you have sat through the Grammys, the VMAs, the Oscars, and any other award show in its entirety, you are an American.
If you own one of these
or one of these...You're an American
If you have ever watched Sports Center for more than 3 hours straight, you're an American.
If you have ever made a game out of binge eating, like my friends in Hampton Roads, you're an American. This particular game is titled "Nugget Contest" and is particularly American since it combines binge eating for fun with McDonald's
If you have ever drunkenly sang "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey in a circle with all of your friends, you are an American (or just attended college between the years of 1981-The End of Time)
The list of "How to Identify as an American" goes on and on and includes Crocs, the Celtics vs. the Lakers, Frostys and Jersey Shore, but that is for another time. Now we are all fully aware that we are Americans, we can start to admit to cultural differences that scare the sh*t out of us...or at least miss the comfort of being able to visit Taco Bell at 3 am for some cheesy potatoes.
Stay tuned for the first installment of "Cultural Differences I will Never Get Over: The Honduran Stare."
As an American living abroad (Honduras, in fact, the third poorest country in Latin America), I can finally and guilt-free say that I miss luxury sometimes. I ADMIT IT I HAVE BEEN PAMPERED FOR FAR TOO LONG and now there is no going back. This has been an incredible 7 months in Honduras, but I am American and as such, I can now laugh about this charade that I and millions of other Americans living abroad are participating in. Any American living in an impoverished third world country that says they much prefer that lifestyle and would live there forever is lying or has the last name Kaczynski and in that case is probably crouching in a hut writing a manifesto and planning the sending of inconspicuous bombs to various unsuspecting recipients.
To sum it up, if I lived in Honduras for the rest of my life I would not stand for having my toilet be but a hole in the ground. In fact, I would probably have a bidet installed along with my porcelain toilet. In my front yard. So all my neighbors could see.
Thus begins my new blog segment: Americans being Non-Americans.
First, defining the American.
If you have sat through the Grammys, the VMAs, the Oscars, and any other award show in its entirety, you are an American.
If you own one of these
or one of these...You're an American
If you have ever watched Sports Center for more than 3 hours straight, you're an American.If you have ever made a game out of binge eating, like my friends in Hampton Roads, you're an American. This particular game is titled "Nugget Contest" and is particularly American since it combines binge eating for fun with McDonald's
If you have ever drunkenly sang "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey in a circle with all of your friends, you are an American (or just attended college between the years of 1981-The End of Time)
The list of "How to Identify as an American" goes on and on and includes Crocs, the Celtics vs. the Lakers, Frostys and Jersey Shore, but that is for another time. Now we are all fully aware that we are Americans, we can start to admit to cultural differences that scare the sh*t out of us...or at least miss the comfort of being able to visit Taco Bell at 3 am for some cheesy potatoes.
Stay tuned for the first installment of "Cultural Differences I will Never Get Over: The Honduran Stare."
how dair you tri to spread yu'r foreign mexican ways on us. dont' u ever talk bad bout them clappin lights or mickiD's deeelicious weddin' anniversary food nuggets... and I swears by the shotgun bestowed upon me (hee hee look boys, I done used one of dem big fancy city-people words) if yous ever say sometin' bout nascar and beer I'll come down therr and whip yur behind til its raw young missy.
ReplyDelete--
you're not-so-hick friend,
Geoff
http://forbettergenius.wordpress.com/